Katie Barnett

Krochet Kids

2011-09-09T09:10:00.002-04:00

I've been loving the idea of giving gifts that give back. Whether it's making a donation to something in someone else's name, or buying a pair of TOMS. With awareness of more and more issues in our world, it seems like the options for d0-good gifts are on the rise. So instead of the ever-popular Starbucks gifts cards, I want to try and give gifts that support worthy causes and raise awareness. Ever Heard of Krochet Kids? I like 'em! Here's their spiel:

Buy a hat. Change a life.

As their website states:

Mission: To empower people to rise above poverty.

Vision: To create sustainable economic development programs that support holistic growth of individuals and communities within developing nations.

Values: People: We desire holistic freedom for our people to grow and enrich their lives physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Our Product: We believe in quality, handmade products that not only bring comfort and style, but serve as a vehicle for social change. Love: We believe actions rooted in love bring lasting and powerful change. Our model for love is that of the ultimate servant: Jesus. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The Krochet Kids are a group of 3 friends who spent their college summers doing volunteer work in various developing nations. The trio desired to see Northern Uganda "transformed by hook and yarn." They eventually found themselves siting in the home of a group of Ugandan women, bags full of yarn to offer to them. They taught them how to crochet hats and other items. Now, over 100 people go to their compound in Northern Uganda daily to create and "rewrite their stories for the better."

Like

2011-07-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

Love this

2011-06-07T23:33:00.001-04:00

Not weaknesses

2011-05-10T13:38:00.001-04:00

Ever heard of the Strengths Finder Test? There are 34 different "themes" for strengths that are a part of people's personalities. I've been curious about what mine could possibly be ever since I heard about the test. A while ago I bought the book and took the test. Here are my top 5 strengths & the briefest description of what they mean:

1. Connectedness: You have faith in the links between all things. You believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
2. Positivity: You have an enthusiasm that is contagious. You are upbeat and can get others excited.
3. Developer: You recognize and cultivate the potential in others. You spot the signs of small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
4. Belief: You have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for your life.
5. Woo: You love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. You derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.

Reminding myself of these strengths as I'm recovering from strep throat to begin my first few days of summer. Here we go!

Curious about what your strengths are? Its fun to learn :) Let me know if you find out!

ONE DRESS on the CNN! What?!

2011-02-10T13:05:00.003-05:00

Amy Seiffert is rockin the national news :) Check it out. For the Daughters :)

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2011/02/10/dnt.one.dress.six.months.wupw.html

One Dress on the NEWS!!!

2011-02-09T19:39:00.002-05:00

Amy Seiffert was interviewed for the local news. Fun, huh??

http://www.foxtoledo.com/dpp/news/local/One-dress-six-months

Day 24

2011-02-08T12:38:00.001-05:00

www.thedaughterproject.org

Beauty in the Ugly

2011-02-05T22:47:00.006-05:00

Tragedy. Our world is living in it. Feeling it, breathing it, feeding it. There are more human slaves in the world now than ever in history.

Ugh.

Here are some sickening facts for you:

- There are an estimated 27 million adults and 13 million children around the world who are victims of human trafficking.
- Human trafficking not only involves sex and labor, but people are also trafficked for organ harvesting.
- Over 80% of trafficking victims are female.

As I've been journeying along with my one black dress for the last 20 or so days, I've been taking time each day to further educate myself on human trafficking. Studying this aspect of human fallenness is tormenting. Reading things like "13 million children" is heartbreaking. That's about 727 times the population of BGSU. Unbelievable.

While wearing the dress is fun, and being creative with fashion is fun, the conversations that stem from the dress are what actually matter. Just today I chatted for about 15 minutes with one of my customers at the bank who complimented my outfit. I got to explain to her what I and other are doing and what we're doing it for. She wants to join in for the next month. What a sweet thing. This is beauty in the ugly.

Also, I'm excited about the growing bag of clothes on my bedroom floor. As I see the bag swelling, I'm noticing that my closet does not look empty. I have so many clothes. I'm have so many things. I just have much. I am blessed beyond belief. I have rich, deep friendships, I am provided for abundantly, and I am realizing more and more that this life is not about me. It's not about me.

And as Amy Seiffert says...for the Daughters:

1 Dress. 1 Month. 1 Cause

2010-12-28T21:22:00.006-05:00

That's right, the same dress, every day, for one month. Starting January 15.

Now, that may seem like a long time, but my friend and mentor Amy Seiffert is wearing hers for 6 months. 6!! She started November 15, and will end May 15. What a heart, huh? (If you go to IndyCC this year, you'll see her in her little grey dress speaking during the women's time!) And the woman, Sheena, who inspired her to go 6 months sported her dress for a whole year in The Uniform Project.

Amy's campaign is Simplify and Give, and so that's what I'm going to do for a month. I'll wear only 1 dress for a month, and then each week during that month I will choose 2 items of clothing to give away. Simplify and give.

Also, this One Dress Project is raising money for The Daughter Project. This is a beautiful organization here in Toledo (one of America's hotspots for human trafficking) that was created to help girls recover from the trauma of human sex trafficking and to help prevent them from being trafficked again. They are rooted in God's love. Cool, huh?

Here's what I'm feeling about it all:

Excited: Me and a couple friends are doing this along with Amy in the same month (Christie, Sarah, Cassy, & Libby). I'm so excited to do this with them and be challenged together.

Nervous: I think this will definitely be a stress to my insecurities about beauty, but I'm excited to pray my way through them.

Curious: I'm not the most trendy person in the world, but I'm excited to see what I'm going to come up with for the challenge.

Want to join?!

Here are some photos of Amy and her dress, and Sheena with the original Uniform Project.

Hallelujah

2010-12-25T08:54:00.002-05:00

A story...

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was govenor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, beacuse he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeard to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be fora ll the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with thte angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying

"Glory to God in the highest,

and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"

When the angels went away from them into heave, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. And at the end of eight days, when he was circumcised, he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

Celebrating the birth of our Savior today...

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer our spirits by Thine advent here. Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death's dark shadows put to flight. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

High

2010-12-19T08:00:00.001-05:00

Being high feels good.

I know what you're thinking, and you've got the wrong idea. (And yes, I shamelessly wrote that as a way to catch the interest of the people that read this...all 3 of 'em.)

I've lately been thinking about this idea of experiencing a high...from whatever. Drugs, spirituality, an adventure, alcohol, an adrenaline rush, a hug, a kiss, a good run, whatever. But being high does feel good, doesn't it?

I mean, think of that last time you felt so amazing you never wanted it to end. A time when you got that can't sleep because you're too excited, can't think because you just want to soak in that glorious moment . An almost invincible heart feeling. When was that for you? Was it recent? Why was it so great?

For me, I think the last really huge high that I felt was when I was in India. I felt so much there. Anxiety for the unknown of the adventure. Laughter at my sweet friends who embarked on that journey with me. Awe at my first glances of a third world country. Charged to learn and experience. Annoyance caused by heat. Tears for the trapped. Heartbreak for the spiritual climate. I felt delighted in new friendships. Humbled by unbelievable conversations. Cheerful, curious, angry, frustrated, confused, unsettled, elated, challenged. I was happy and sad, content and restless all at the same time. I felt like I was on top of the world there (yet at the same time felt tiny and helpless).

A high was experienced. I experienced so much life in the span of 10 days, my heart was on overload. And it was good. I didn't want to leave. I cried when I left, and then spent days, maybe weeks (still today even) wanting to be back there. My heart felt something similar when I left Summer Project over a year ago. More recently, I was sad to leave Chicago and some of my favorite people after spending a mere 2 days with them on a weekend visit. It was such a beautiful time. Or, I distinctly remember the high I felt from hitting some big rapids while we were out whitewater rafting. (And I can't wait to do that again.)

Do we, as humans, spend our lives chasing this high? This feeling of emotional, spiritual, intellectual loftiness. Do you personally? I know I definitely can let myself fall into this trap.

But there is danger here. When chasing a high, we let our hearts expect things to make us feel that totallyawesomenothinglikeitintheworld feeling. And when we don't get that feeling again. we're let down. Completely. Over and over and over and over. Its a cycle that can have a too-tight grip on my heart if I let it.

When I think of those highs, I remember that they were in God's plans for me. And mostly, I wasn't expecting to feel a high from my experiences. They were just adventures that God placed in my path, and I'm sure he'll do it again. In new, exciting ways.

"For i know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

I must remember that my God has plans for me. Big ones, little ones, long term, short term. It's all there. Highs, lows, adventures.

All I know is I'm ready & willing to take whatever God puts on my plate. Ready to see what the next big adventure will be.

Far away friends...

2010-11-22T09:41:00.008-05:00

Gotta love 'em :)

Don't get to see these 2 fellas often. But our every-few-months hang outs are always memorable.

And I love the fact that I can some of my BG friends to hang out! My worlds are colliding :)

Discipline-ship

2010-11-08T08:24:00.004-05:00

Life is busy. 9 times out of 10, when I ask someone how they're doing, they'll respond "Good! Just tired," or "I'm good, just really busy." I've been trying to prevent myself from giving these generic responses throughout my day, but that doesn't mean they aren't true of me at times. A typical week for me tends to look like this:

Sometimes the red work days might change, and the green meeting times will jump around, but as you can see, my days are full. And this calendar doesn't even include time I set aside for homework and quiet times. In fact, you can't even see the end of the day in this screen shot. Sometimes my day is a good, healthy-full, and sometimes it's one of those it's-Thanksgiving-and-I-ate-way-too-much-and now-it's-hard-to-move feelings. Sometimes I'm tired. Always I'm busy. How can I stay sane through this?

Discipline. Discipline with taking time for myself. Discipline with spending intentional, set-aside time with God. Discipline with working out and making sure I'm exercising my body as well as my mind. Discipline in getting into the Word.

If I'm this busy, my life will just keep going and going if I let it. It will be like one big run-on sentence. If I want to stay sane through it, and find enjoyment in it, I have to make time to just stop. The punctuation marks in life are significant and give meaning to the rest of my days. So today, I will take an hour to rest, ask the Lord to join me in my rest and in my busyness, and bring some meaning into my day.

Happy Monday!

Something up His sleeve

2010-10-29T00:00:00.005-04:00

"Rescuing the human heart is the hardest mission in the world." - John Eldridge

I may not know what my future holds. I don't know what I'll be doing after college. I don't know what state, maybe even what country I'll be living in. But I know I want whatever I do to involve being some part of helping rescue hearts. It has to be. That much I do know.

That's why I'm putting in some applications places. I'm currently filling out an application to work as in intern with Cru here at BG. I love seeing God work here. I love being a part of God's work here. I want to be able to serve here.

I'm also filling out an application to intern with International Justice Mission. More specifically, I'm applying for an internship in India (listing the UK, Cambodia, Kenya, and Bolivia as some other choices). Wouldn't that be exciting?

Another option I have on my plate right now is just continuing to work at the bank for a bit. Perhaps volunteer for Cru staff in my free time. We'll see :)

Right now, more than fearing what my future holds, I'm excited about it. Almost to the point of giddiness. I'm not often worried or scared. I'm in a period of waiting. Waiting to see how I'll be pursuing that rescue mission.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay. - Habakkuk 2:3

The Lord reminds that the revelation is coming, and then he commands them to wait. God will deliver the end faithfully. He will deliver my future faithfully, and I shall (try to) wait patiently. It is not yet my time to know what my future holds. And that's ok. I'm sure God has something up his sleeve.

cool

2010-10-23T20:30:00.000-04:00

catchy

2010-10-23T00:40:00.002-04:00

You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot.
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

Bucket List: Update

2010-10-03T17:18:00.003-04:00

I am a sucker for a good adventure. I crave it! Way back in in April 2009 I made a Bucket List of 25 things I want to do before I die. I thought it would be cool to update the things on that list that I been able to experience:

I love adventure. Here are some adventures I'd like to have sometime in my life :) (in no particular order...)

1. Be in two places at once (Done! Ohio/Kentucky)
2. Live in a big city (Done! Chicago)
3. Live in the mountains (Done! Blue Ridge Mountains in Black Mountain, NC)
4. Sleep under the stars (Done!)
5. Learn to play the guitar (STILL working on it...)
6. Ride in a hot air balloon
7. Read the whole Bible (Done!)
8. Buy lunch for a homeless person (Done!)
9. Visit all 50 states
10. Pet a dolphin
11. Go to a foreign country and do nothing touristy
12. Learn to cook (slowly working on it...)
13. Graduate college
14. See Van Gogh’s paintings
15. Go to a real pub in Ireland
16. Put a message in a bottle and throw it into the sea
17. Record something in a recording studio
18. See the northern lights
19. Go whitewater rafting (Done! - I'd like to go again though...sooo fun)
20. Go to a symphony
21. See an opera at the Metropolitan Opera House
22. Go to a real blues/jazz bar in Chicago or New York
23. Learn to sew (working on it!)
24. Have a picnic by a waterfall
25. Sing “When You Wish Upon a Star” in front of Cinderella’s Castle in Disney World (not in front of people, just me)
26. Find a treasure (Done! I found the sweetest antique key a few months ago. Now its one of my favorite pieces of jewelry.)

Do you have a list of dreams you'd like to see become a reality?

Hearing God?

2010-09-06T19:03:00.001-04:00

I recently finished reading the well beloved book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I'll keep my opinions about the book to myself and let you decide for yourself. However, one aspect of the story that I find particularly fascinating is the way God talks to the characters. There are times when God's voice is a sound that Sarah/Angel and Michael hear, denoted by bold letters or italics at various times in the story.

Maybe it's just me, but how ridiculous would it be to hear God's voice ring in my ear. Would it be like a normal voice? Or would it be more like a sweet sweet melody? Or maybe He would speak to me in a language that only I could understand. He would speak so personally to me, that I alone could hear his voice when he speaks to me.

That's it! That's got to be it. God's love language to me is a language only spoken between Him and I. Not like a language in the literal sense. Not like French or Italian or Mandarin. I hear God speaking to me in his Word. In music. In nature. People. The sky. Stars. Sunsets. Laughter. Tears. In a sweet conversation with a dear friend. Or perhaps with a complete stranger. I hear Him in the trees, in the rain. In the city lights of Chicago. In the feeling I get when I hang out with my project friends. In art. In song. Lots of places, lots of things, lots of whispers. Just for me. A language of our very own.

...what a thought.

Sweet Tea for My Soul

2010-09-04T14:31:00.002-04:00

As our lives change
come whatever
we will still be
friends forever.
Lalalalalalalalala...

Yes, that is a line from the cheesy Vitamin C "Graduation" song. A room full of my project friends and I diligently sang verse after verse in our cramped hotel room at the Holiday Inn Express in downtown Charlotte, SC after our dear friend KatieBeth Sinclair-Rogers' wedding (I am so stinking proud of //her). Let me set the scene for you: at least 4 people on each bed; Lauren, still in her bridesmaid dress, standing on

the bed singing at the top of her lungs with outstretched

arms; Leanne laying at her feet, giggling; Kathryn and Molly picking up pillows

from the recent pillow fight; Jeremy, Colin, David, and Will not really knowing what to think about everything; Neil orchestrating everything (per usual); Frannie attacking someone with a pillow; Scarlett staying wrapped up in her blanket; Joy just shaking her head and laughing; Alicia and I sitting side by side singing loud and proud. As I sat back on the filled full sized bed, I thought to myself, "this is why I love these people so much."

Silly. Uninhibited. Vivacious. Unique. United. These are my friends! I love 'em. They are full of life, light, and love. People who I can share my life with, and who share their lives with me. People who can be silly, be themselves, and laugh and cry together.

I can't believe 1 full year after our beloved summer in Chicago together, we can still come together as if no time has passed at all. That is, most assuredly, the bond Christ has formed in our hearts.

Every time I hang out with this specific group of friends, my soul feels so incredibly refreshed. This unique group of Christian men and women are all so focused on serving each other and the world around us, that I can't help but feel overwhelmed by love. I feel inspired by their love for one another, their overflowing joy, and their servant hearts. Their positivity refreshes my heart and soul and inspires me to grow closer with God. I don't know how to explain it, there is just such a fun and unique bond between this group of people.

It is Christ who makes us different, and Christ who unites us. What a beautiful thing...

We pour out our miseries...

2010-07-11T11:42:00.002-04:00

We pour out our miseries, but God just hears a melody.

LOL

2010-05-29T08:45:00.009-04:00

Today I woke up laughing. Literally.

I don't remember everything that was happening in my dream, but I do recall these last few, apparently hilarious, moments.

I was sitting on the floor of a hallway in someone's house. There were about 6 people there with me, though I don't know who any of these people are. Some lady comes over next to me to get a drink out of the water fountain (why this is in someone's house, who knows). I notice her sweater. It has colorful elephants doing quite mundane tasks knitted into the fabric. One was washing a window. Another was cooking. Another was talking on the phone...you get the idea. Since I liked the sweater so much, I wanted to compliment the lady. However, I couldn't think of the word "elephant." I remember frantically searching my mind for the correct word. Seconds later, with full confidence, I said, "I like your citizenants." Immediately I knew the word didn't fit, didn't flow. I looked around, still completely unable to think of the correct term for the animal, and just started laughing. "Citizenants? Really?"

Apparently I thought it was so funny that I was laughing, albeit they were almost silent giggles, in real life too, and my laughter slowly shyed away my slumber.

I woke up semi-confused and highly amused at how completely ridiculous I must have looked. LOL. Literally.

Quote

2010-05-27T18:31:00.002-04:00

Cherish your solitude.

Take trains by yourself to place you have never been.

Sleep alone under the stars.

Learn how to drive a stick shift.

Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back.

Decide whether you want to be liked or admired.

Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you're doing here.

- Eve Ensler

Xanga?

2010-05-13T22:55:00.008-04:00

Anyone remember Xanga? Its an older blogging site that was really popular when I was in high school. Well, a few months ago, I found mine. Yes, found...it was lost from my mind for years. Long story short, it's hilarious and ridiculous. It only dates back to some time in my junior or senior year of high school, so I must have gone back and deleted things at some point in time. I can't remember why or when I did this.

I'm not going to give out the site, but I'm sure if you really want to dig, if you really care that much, you can find it. Here are some of the entries that literally made me laugh out loud when I re-read them. I added my current thoughts on my past thoughts below the entries.

January 21, 2006

I'm bringing the camera. Be prepared.
Say what?!?!

25 Days! Holla if you're going to NYC!

- Apparently I thought "holla" was cool for a white girl to say. Haaa.

December 18, 2005
Someone made me smile!
I was a mysterious teenager, I guess.

November 22, 2005

Me: Courtney! don't take my stuff!
Court: Katie, this is mine.
Me: No it's not!
Court: Yes it is.
Me: Court! Why are you taking that?! It's mine!
Court: No Katie, I got this from Meijer.
Me: So did I...
hahaha! court!!!! too funny!
This is just a really fun memory between me and my dear friend Courtney :)

October 20, 2005

LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS SO FREAKING HOTT! I can't stand it!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Hello giddy teenage girl.

July 16, 2005

Today I went to a funeral. It was a lovely outdoor service honoring Sparky the Pigeon, who was found dead yesterday in the back yard of the kid's house where I babysit. Here's what my invitation said:
To: Katie Barnett
From: Gabby, Sarah, Hannah, Liam, and Tyler
A funeral service will be held for Sparky tomorrow (scribbled out) ...July 16th, 2005.
Wear Black.
At the service we all said something nice about Sparky, and threw leaves from a tree onto his/her grave because Mrs. Acton wouldn't let us pick her flowers.

Those kids were adorable.

I wish I wouldn't have deleted whatever was written before. Oh well :) My overdramatic teenage years are at least partially preserved in this funny virtual world.

Did you have a Xanga?

Alive.

2010-04-18T15:21:00.014-04:00

The sun shines. The flowers flourish. The weather warms. The people appear.

Spring is here, friends. And it is nothing short of beautiful this year.

Spring has breathed precious life back into my friends, myself, and our campus. I feel like ever since it got warm out, all I've been doing is hanging out with people. Late night walks to lay under giant trees. Laughing hysterically at movies and stupid youtube videos. Deep, real conversations. Hookah circles until 5am. Playing outside. Sprawling out with a small group of friends under the shade of a tree on a warm day. Sunburns. Cookouts. Fine music de mes amis. Warm rains. Walking barefoot.

Sweet, sweet blessings.

Here are some of the fun things that have been happening this spring...

Do your friends do this? I love 'em.

(Probably another reason why we're labeled as such hippies...)

My Lifegroup had a hookah night for anyone to come to out on Mac Beach the other night!

Erica came to Cincinnati with me for Easter.

Hanging with Jason and Sarah in the grass on campus.

My friends and roomies next year! Alyssa, Erica, Chrsitie, and Sarah.

India: Day 8

2010-04-17T14:57:00.002-04:00

Here are a few more entries from my journal. These are in-the-moment thoughts/feelings/reactions to what we were doing in India. I edited out some prayers and personal things for various reasons, but here's a bit of raw thought about what I experienced...

Saturday March 13, 2010

Today we did a scavenger hunt around the city. We travelled to 4 different key locations around the city, including the train station where the dance scene was shot in Slumdog Millionaire. Then we met at the Pheonix Mall - definitely a high class mall in the city. It was like a fairly nice American mall with lots of high end stores. A few friends and I didn't want to shop there, though, so we took a cab back to Colaba and shopped there. Raul found us and we got to hang out with him for a while. We each bought a map of India f

rom him to help support him. That was a sweet moment. Raul took us to a little restaurant by the YMCA and bought us drinks. Bless his heart. It was great to get to hang out with him for a while.

After I went to dinner with some of the girls, we came back to the Y, packed, and then headed downstairs. Raul and Tarun came to see us to the airport. Raul, with his beautiful, serving heart, helped load all of the luggage onto the bus. He rode the bus to the airport with everyone. Tarun offered to drive a few of us to the airport, and Nick said this would be okay as long as he followed the bus. Jonathan, Chris, Zach and I rode with Tarun in his car. THAT was an exciting adventure. Nearly getting lost, crazy traffic, high speeds, weaving through cars - awesome. I literally felt like I was in a movie...

It was sad to leave. I will never forget those precious moments of goodbye in the city. Standing

in the airport, I came to a swift and painful realization that we were literally about to fly halfway around the world. Did I just see these people for the last time? What if I never see these friends again?

I'm not ready to go home. Not yet. It's too soon. I spent less than 200 hours in Mumbai, yet tears fill my eyes as I board the plane to head back to a place where I am blessed far beyond most of the world's highest standards of living.

I fear I someday soon take for granted all I have. I fear my heart will no longer break for the world. I fear self-absorption. I fear a heart of little compassion. I fear staleness. I fear being content.

Praise God for this experience. Hallelujah.

Here are some more pictures from the trip. These are all pictures from friends, for I left my camera in Mumbai...So props to them for their awesome photography skills.

Tim, Dan, Sam, Me, Jenny, Chris, Tiffany, and Nick at KC College

With one of our friends at KC College

Chris hanging out with some junior college students at KC

Street (taken by Chris Guyot)

(taken by Chris Guyot)

Erica, Jenny, Me riding in a cab

Babies sleeping in the streets (taken by Chris Guyot)

Monkey! (taken by Chris Guyot)

Carvings at Elephanta Isle (taken by Jonathan Shaffer)

Street (taken by Chris Guyot)

Me and Tiffany hanging with students at Wilson College

The Gateway

Here we are!

Me and Tarun

The girls!

India: Day 6, Day 7

2010-04-16T16:02:00.013-04:00

Thursday March 11, 2010

Today we went to Elephanta Isle, an island of adventure, old carvings, many anima

ls, and sweet people. We rode a boat for an hour there and back, and we spent the entir

e day there. Elephanta is an ancient place of worship with these huge statues an

d carvings. The statues and caverns took them 7 generations to carve, and they began in approximately 700BC. That's awesome.

There were also monkey on this island! Grace set her water bottle down at one point, and within seconds it was scooped up by a sneaky little monkey. I thought it was hilarious. Poor Grace was left without her water though...

Tonight, a bunch of the guys and Tarun and I went to the Gateway to look for Babu, but we couldn't find him. So then we talked our way into the Taj Hotel (and by we, I mean Tarun). We walked around the residents only section of the hotel just to see what it was like. It was nice. We visited the pool area, lounged for a bit, and then checked out a little more of the first floor.

The sad part is, even though we definitely didn't belong there, no one questioned us. Why? Because we're American.

Friday March 12, 2010

Today we went to the Salvation Army to play with the kids. All of these little ones are orphans and their mothers are stuck in the sex-slave trade. There were about 20 boys and girls in a tiny little orphanage in the middle of the city. It was small, packed full of kids, and dirty. There were 6 different rooms, all painted wtih bright colors. There was a small playroom with cement floors, one window, and no toys. It was just a bare room. The bedroom had about 12 bunk beds in it, along with a few sets of cubbies where the kids kept their book bags. There was a bathroom, an office area, and another very small bedroom where one woman lived. It was tiny. I can't imagine living there with up to 30 people at a time.

Playing with the kids was a lot of fun, and it was really tough to leave them. They were ecstatic to have people to play with them. I think I had at least 3 children hanging on me at all times. There was one little guy who stole my heart though. He was obnoxious, loud, kind of rude, and sneaky, but he was a sweetheart. I can only imagine that he acts that way because he is so deprived of attention. They all are. Kids need love and attention and praise and discipline. In their current situation, they get minimal everything.

This little man clung to me though. Why me? I don't know. Probably because I was the first one he played with, and I just poured out as much love as I possibly could onto him. We played hand-clap games, we ran around, during the group games, he'd stand next to me and hold my hand. At a point when we were a little calmer with the kids, I was sitting on the ground and he just came over and curled up in my lap. Those were a few precious moments where I tried to love on him as much as possible. Held him tight, brushed his hair with my fingers. He didn't speak any English, so everything was said through facial expression and touch. Praise God that these kids are getting a second chance at life.

Tonight we went out out for a team dinner. Then that night Tarun came over and Erica, Chris, Jonathan, Tim, and Tarun and I smoked hookah out on the street. That was a fun/chill night. Tim, Tarun, and I got our pictures taken for the Indian times. The reporter thought it was funny that 2 white tourists and an Indian man were sitting on the streets smoking hookah. I never saw it in the paper, but it was such a good night!

India: Day 5

2010-04-10T20:36:00.012-04:00

Here are another entry from my journal. These are in-the-moment thoughts/feelings/reactions to what we were doing in India. I edited out some prayers and personal things for various reasons, but here's a bit of raw thought about what I experienced...

Wednesday March 10, 2010

My team (Sam, Tiffany H, Erica, Dan, Jonathan, Zach, Roger, and Matt) went to City Central Mall in the morning to get supplies for the women we were going to work with later. Only part of the team actually made it to the Project later though. One cab got lost, and so they didn't get to hang out with the women that day.

Working with the women who are trapped in the sex slave trade was one of the toughest things I've ever experienced. I've wept over the women and the experience multiple times now. We walked through the Red Light district to where this project is located . It didn't look any

different than any of the other living/working

areas right off of main roads in Mumbai, but knowing that was one of the central hubs for the brothels was incredibly hard.

We arrived to a small room with about 9 women already there waiting. We did introductions and then laid supplies out on the floor and began painting and creating. The women seemed to love it. They would copy the things we drew and painted. One of the women, we'll call her J, created 2 paintings. She had to leave early to go to "work," but before she let she gave me her 2 creations. One as a mixture of paint and foam flowers, and she asked me to pray for her whenever I saw this painting. I told her that I would be honored to pray for her. The other was a painting with a house on it. She told me to pray for her dream house whenever I saw this painting. Again, I told her I would love to. She gave me the paintings, squeezed my hand, and walked out the fabric covered doorway. It took every ounce of strength I had to not break down in sobs right then.

After she left we made these foam stick-ons for the women that said "A___, Jesus loves you!" They LOVED these gifts. Then, at one point, someone told one of the women that I would sing for them. I definitely wasn't expecting this at all, but I sang a verse of Amazing Grace. One woman held my hand while I sang it, and I could feel this connection...a deep, deep connection. She didn't know what I was saying, but it was worship to God. This was another moment where I choked my tears back to finish the chorus. Then after I finished, the women sang a song for all of us. It was a stunningly beautiful moment that I will never forget. They sang a worship song. I had no idea what they were saying, but it was an unbelievable feeling to be able to sing praises to God halfway around the world, in a language I don't know.

After a few more precious moments of broken conversation, beautiful creation, and being together, it was time for the women to go to "work," and for us to go and talk with the director of the project. As we were saying our goodbyes, a woman, P, touched my earrings and said she thought they were pretty. I asked our translator if it would be okay to give them to her as a gift. She said the earrings should be fine (sometimes if a woman goes back to her pimp with something new, the pimp gets angry and suspicious...I just wanted to make sure she'd be safe if I gave them to her.). So I took my earrings off and gave them to her. P refused them at first but then bashfully accepted them. It was a precious moment in time that I will forever remember. She hugged me tight and I wrapped my arms protectively around her tiny shoulders. We hugged for a long time, and when I began to let go, she squeezed tighter. I looked into her eyes, and I don't know if what I saw was sadness or fear, but I wrapped my arms around her again and never wanted to let her go. I wish I could protect her, rescue her, set her free. Get her a new life. It was so difficult to let her go and watch her walk out the door. Sweet, sweet P. Lord, protect her, please.

(She wore the earrings I gave her on Friday when the other group went and visited.)

Later that night we went to dinner as a team and then headed to a restaurant called Not Just Jazz By the Bay for some desert. One of our friends we met, R, came! At first they wouldn't R in. Jonathan thought it might have something to do with the caste system. Jonathan went outside to see why they wouldn't let him in. They were out there for a while, and I could see them arguing. I asked the waiter to see why they weren't letting my friend inside. He peeked outside, said something, and came back in. He wouldn't look at me, and when I caught his eye he just shook his head. At this point I was pissed. I pushed my desert aside and told the waiter that I was very unhappy that they were not letting our friend in. I sat back with arms folded, staring at the waiter and manager. Eventually the manager went outside. Minutes later, in walked Jonathan and R. I ordered R desert, and then we all ate and had a good time. Another manager came out at one point to fight with the waiter. I saw some pointing and looking at me and Jonathan and R. I don't think he was happy about the situation...but UGH I HATE INJUSTICE AND I WILL FIGHT AGAINST IT. (Yes, this is how it was written in my journal.)

Oh yeah, and tonight I got to ride my friend Tarun's motorcycle through the city :) I was actually really surprised when Tarun said he'd give me a ride. Chris bet that he probably wouldn't since it's kinda dangerous to drive around in Mumbai, and since I'm a girl. But he offered a ride, and I couldn't pass that adventure up! I'm pretty sure we didn't go as fast as he took Chris or Jonathan...but it definitely was fun, and slightly scary. (Pictured left is my friend Chris riding with Tarun by Wilson College.)

India: Day 3, Day 4

2010-04-08T10:27:00.006-04:00

Monday March 8, 2010

Day 3! I love it here! Today we went to KC College. The principal of the college gave us a lecture about India. To say the least, it was fascinating. We spent a long time on campus hanging out with students. Dan, Jenny, and I talked to 4 girls for about 20 minutes. They were friendly but shy. Eventually I ventured over to where Chris was, and he was entertaining a group of kids with handshakes. We did our handshake for everyone, and they thought it was so cool. This was quite funny. Chris and I taught a bunch of the kids the handshake and hung out with them for a bit. What a fun way to spend the afternoon!

- Went to a temple tonight. The Mahalakshmi Temple. We were at the temple to see how the Hindu people worship. I'm sure we, as a group of 18 American, looked very out of place. Most of the group sat together in front of the temple, but I just couldn't be around people. I stood off by myself almost the entire time we were there, letting my mind and heart absorb and process. An old man came up to me and asked me where I'm from. We started chatting, and eventually Nick came over. The guy told us that he respected us for coming there and observing and respecting the religion. We chatted for a while about the temple and what it was for and how to worship. After a while, he walked away, so Nick and I did the same. As he was walking into the temple, he called me back over to the gate. His eyes pierced mine for a few seconds and he said, "My god is your god. They are the same. Different worship. God lives inside you, you are a god. When the god dies, you perish." I didn't know what to say back, so I didn't say anything. He walked away. ...Later, as I was sitting on a bench near the temple, by myself, a woman came up to me and put a handful of white sweets into my hand. She said something to me in Hindi, a prayer I think...

Tuesday March 9, 2010

Today we visited Wilson College. We got a lecture on Indian history, toured the building, and then got to hang out with students. I LOVED Wilson College. I ended up hanging out with some of the younger students. They were 16-17 years old. Its so funny how teenagers are the same everywhere. They were silly, funny, flirty, and thought they were sly about everything. I had a blast. When I first got there, there were only boys sitting around to talk to, so I chatted with them. Eventually a few of the young girls came around to the courtyard. They were friendly, teenage-girl-like also, but were more skeptical of me than the boys were. I was able to chat with the kids about life, what they do for fun, what they study, spiritual things and so on. The girls opened up a bit, but not very quickly. The boys were quite flirty...full of compliments, gifts, poems, and such. Funny, right? At one point, Chris and I showed the kids our handshake. I was teaching it to people, and one of the guys told me that they "don't do handshakes in India, instead we do this..." ...he then took my hand, twirled me and began to dance with me. At that point I didn't know what to do. I just kinda laughed it off while the kids giggled at the obvious flirting. From that point, I tried to engage with the girls more. It was a fun day. I honestly wish I could live in Mumbai for a while so I can get to know these kids and other students at Wilson better. I want to love on them, serve them, learn about them, have fun. I hope to come back some day soon. I can't imagine staying away for long.

India: Day 2

2010-03-30T13:27:00.006-04:00

It's been 2 weeks. I have yet to find words to try and describe my experiences in India. I feel like anything I write will be an utter underrepresentation of the captivation. My feeble attempts at some sort of description will have to wait until my mind and heart have processed things a bit more, and that could be a while.

Instead, I've included a few entries from my journal. These are in-the-moment thoughts/feelings/reactions to what we were doing in India. I edited out some prayers and personal things for various reasons, but here's a bit of raw thought about what I experienced...

(I began with Day 2 in India because Day 1 was only a couple of hours. We took a bus ride from the airport to Colaba, and then hung out for a bit and went to bed. Day 2 was much more eventful.)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Feeling overwhelmed with my thoughts and feelings about India. Not a bad overwhelmed, just like I can't really process into words what's going on in my heart right now. Here are some jumbled thoughts:

- My heart broke last night as we ventured on the 2am bumpy bus ride from the international airport to the YMCA. On literally every city block there were people sleeping on the streets and sidewalks. 1, 2, and 3 clumped together. Men, women, children, newborns. Some covered with thin blankets, some lay on bare concrete.

-I've never experienced a taxi ride like the ones here in this city. I feel rather safe in the little cars, though. We're tossed around the backseat, from right to left, forward and backward as the driver beeps and dodges the other cars. Road signs and markings seem to be mere suggestions. The only rules: don't hit other cars, but it's kind of okay if you do, and don't hit people.

- Nick walked us through some of the slums near City Central Mall about an hour ago. I'm having trouble processing all I saw. Kids stared at us wide-eyed. Its probably not every day a group of white and black people take a stroll through the slums. Kids gathered and stared. Women looked, but not into my eyes...their glares were averted for some reason. Men stared openly. Many were very friendly and said hi, asked us our names and where we are from. I liked them. My heart almost went numb though, it was so broken. Still is broken for these people. Trash overtook the streets, shanties were filled to the brim with stuff, people, and animals. An overwhelming majority of the people just sat around like they literally had nothing to do. I tried to pray, but I didn't really know where to begin.

- I love it here. Love it. I love the atmosphere, the people, the city, the mission. I thought it would be overwhelming because I've never experienced anything like it before, but its definitely a beautiful and exciting adventure.

- Just ventured to this old site here called the Gateway, where immigrants used to come to India. We met a family who sells these flying toys for a living. Tommie and I ended up chatting with them for a long while. I met one of the brothers, but I cant remember his name. He really liked Tommie because he thought Tommie had huge muscles. That was hilarious. They kept calling him "friend" and "brother." Their family sells toys and lives outside near the Gateway. From what I can tell, the 2 older guys are married, and 1 has 2 little girls. Their grandmother also works with them. There was a younger kid named Babu. He was the sweetest thing ever. The other guys left but Babu followed our group, so Tommie and I chatted with him for about 3o minutes. He told us about his family, the Gateway, the city, and the people at the Gateway. He showed us a beautiful wedding reception hall, but said that he would never get married there because he wants to be married in a church. He said he goes to church there at the Gateway because a preacher comes on Sundays. Tommie asked his religion, and he said he's a Christian. What a sweet heart this boy has. He explained to us how he is happy with his life. He sells toys, has food, and sleeps at the park...I was sad to leave him. I wish my heart was as settled as his, as content and peaceful as his.

T.I.I. :)

WHODUNNIT???

2010-03-28T22:30:00.001-04:00

Only 4 suspects left. Who do you think is GUILTY?

Tyler Bock

Katie Barnett

Katie Godzak

Ben Hartley

You decide! www.bgcru.com/clu

A Rare Feeling

2010-02-24T11:49:00.008-05:00

There are few things in life that instigate me to the point of anger. Today I felt angry though. Really angry.

I was raised to fight for the underdog. This is what happens, I guess. ...My brother has gotten into physical fights over defending people who were being picked on. I guess we're similar in our desires to defend people.

I couldn't just ignore it, though. When the two girls walking behind me on my journey from Olscamp to the Union began making fun of another girl walking near us because of the way she was dressed, how she looked, and her ethnicity, I had to say something. As they were making their rude and sly, or so they thought, comments, I could feel myself getting more and more upset. They kept this up all the way up to the Union. Eventually I had to turn around, politely and quietly introduce myself, and tell them that "I, and most likely others walking near us, don't really appreciate the way you two are so loudly talking about this girl that's walking by. She does not deserve to be victimized by your ignorance and intolerance." Instinctively, the girls got defensive and subsequently continued the bashing of this poor girl. Ugh.

This is not the first time I've said something like this to complete strangers...The absence of love for one another in this world breaks my heart.

I guess I don't really know what I "should" have done in this situation. My comments of "ignorance and intolerance" were not very loving toward these two girls. And I'm sure glaring at them didn't help either. I tried to be polite, but the rare feelings of anger that I was feeling creeped into my attitude, and made it critical. I can admit my faults here.

But I do think that Jesus would have stood up for this innocent passerby too. You think?

Puppies

2010-02-22T23:25:00.006-05:00

They bite your nose, lick your face, get into everything, pee on the carpet, have cute little barks, grow too fast, have floppy ears and great-big eyes, play tug-of-war with your hair, inhale their food, are confused by stairs, make you say awww, and Kyle, my little brother, got 2 of them.

Meet Boston and Megatron.

Boston's the grey one, Mega's the black one.

What fun little additions to the Barnett family!

MURDER

2010-02-18T11:38:00.001-05:00

What started out as Battle of the Bands, ended in a Murder Mystery.

What happened: The lights went out right as they were going to announce whether The Great Jehosephats or The Paper Robots won the Battle of the Bands. When the lights came back on, and Nick was dead!!! (Dun dun dun.)

Now we're in an epic game of Whodunnit for the next few weeks at Cru. Here's the website. Check it out! http://bgcru.com/clue/

CLU. @Cru. 9pm. 101 Olscamp.

Here are all the suspects. Guilty? You decide.

Tyler (keys - Paper Robots)

Sarah (keys, vocals - Great Jehosephats)

Teddy (banjo - Great Jehosephats)Katie B. (vocals - Paper Robots)Tommy (leader of Paper Robots, guitar, vocals)Katie G. (djembe - Great Jehosephats)Jonathan (leader of Great Jehosephats, guitar, vocals)Angelica (guitar, vocals - Paper Robots)

How all our minds have become preoccupied with nothing more than lies...

2010-02-05T08:51:00.001-05:00

and most our lives tragically undermine the reality that Jesus died and rose again all to remove the sin from our identities.

The Answer

2010-01-27T00:39:00.005-05:00

My dear friend Erica wrote this. I love her and I love her writing. It's honest, tough, and full of Jesus. Take a look...

"The more I drag my feet through school, the more I sit through classes that dwell on how screwed up humanity is, the more I understand the reality of our unforgiving, unreliable, unhappy world the more I rest on this thing I've found. Or rather found me.

As a women's studies major my life is revolved around figuring out the answers to the way women are treated in our world. Let me tell you something, I thought I had all the answers. Recently, I've discovered that I absolutely did not. The more I made discoveries the more my answers became arbitrary. The more they perpetuated the cycle of the mistreatment of women and the less they seemed to help. I had something in my heart that wanted to fix this broken world we live in. The broken world that royally screwed women over. The broken world that abuses it's women. That calls our women whores and sluts and prudes. The broken world that cat calls at women walking down the street. That whistles at her as if she's nothing more than an object. The broken world that allows for women to work in the pornography business because our labor system is failing. The broken world that continues the feminization in poverty; leading more women to prostitution, single motherhood, staying with an abusive man because she needs the money. The broken world that traffics women and girls into sexual slavery. Into marital slavery. Into fearful slavery. Into slavery.

There is an answer to these things. Sure, we can work towards changing the laws, changing our world view, normalcy's and customs. But, the harsh and unfortunate reality is that we will never reach the point of true reprieve for women. We can scratch our brains all day for the ultimate fix all. But, I can tell you for certain that it's not changing a law, or donating money, or protesting. Not to say they shouldn't be done but, there is something more. There is a better answer.

It's Jesus.

Yes, Jesus. I know. It seems trait and cheesy. Like it came off one of those neon colored rubber bracelets or on a pamphlet passed out by middle school youth groups.

God is love and love is exactly what we need.What women need. Trust me, I've tried to fight that Christ was the ultimate answer. Why? Because it's scary and difficult and rests in faith.Because not everyone believes that Jesus is the answer. Because you can't make anyone follow it. Because society has turned to total shit. Because we're wrecked. Because in some jobs, we can't talk spiritually. Because I'm probably the only Christ following women's studies major at this university. Because I've had a terribly difficult time reconciling feminism and christianity.

I mean, the book "Cunt" sits next to the Holy Bible on my book shelf.

But, I've realized I'm in an amazing place. As possibly the only Christian women's studies major I have this responsibility to share Christ with fellow feminists. To tell them that Jesus loves feminists. That Jesus loves women and is for women. That God created women not to be mistreated, belittled and become slaves but to be loved and cherished. That women are indeed strong, and can make choices and don't have to get married or have children and don't belong in the kitchen. That Jesus wants women to be respected. The more I develop this passion for the Lord the more I develop a passion for saving women. To make this world better for them. And I'm telling ya, it's God's work my friend.

I'm done dancing around in circles. I'm done with these un-meaningful answers that do nothing but add more complexity into an already complex problem. I'm living for Christ. The ultimate, most beautiful being. God will save women. That's the answer."

- Erica Reese

Quote:

2010-01-24T00:04:00.004-05:00

"The good life happens the day it's not about you." -Steve Rieske

May this be my heart...

2010-01-18T10:34:00.002-05:00

Where you go, I go.
What you say, I say, God.
What you pray, I pray.

Though the world seems to soon forget, I will not forget who you are and what you've done for us.

Old Photo

2010-01-12T18:09:00.003-05:00

I found this picture in an old photo album at my Grandma's house. Its my grandma and her dad. Sweet, right?

Resolutions

2010-01-07T21:08:00.005-05:00

I never do this, but this year I made a New Year's resolution. Pray for me, if that's your thing?

While I was at IndyCC with Cru this year, my eyes were opened to how easily negativity creeps into my life. I was up early on Thursday morning in Indy, and I remember in my head I said to God, "I'm just so tired, and I had to get up so early, and my tea is too hot to drink and..." And then it hit me. What was I complaining about? "My tea is too hot" ??!!?? I am complaining about the dumbest things I could complain about. How did I let this negativity creep into my soul in this way?

Now, I don't really see myself as an overly negative person, in fact, I think I'm pretty optimistic, but I'm not content with these small diversions from joy settling in my heart. So this year I resolve to stop unnecessarily complaining about things. I will not let negativity prevail in my life. I'm given the gift of joy in Christ every day, and I will choose to live in that joy. I'm not promising/trying to never complain, because I do believe that there is a healthy level of complaining. Like if I actually have a legitimate concern about something, or something legitimately is affecting me negatively. However, I am going to take a good hard look at things before I start complaining. For example, I don't want to promote negativity by complaining about how cold it is in BG...stuff like that. (Hmm...that poses an interesting philosophical question: To what extent is negativity legitimate or justified?)

So yeah, that's my resolution. I'm going to try. I've already been trying and praying for pessimistic thoughts to be blocked from my heart. I like this change, friends :) A lot :)

Did you make any resolutions?

Create

2010-01-06T21:55:00.020-05:00

I've been beatin' the cold, grey, winter-weather blues these past few days with some fun art/crafty projects. Here are a few things I've been working on.

I have so many old picture frames. This one got new life yesterday. Iturned it into an earring holder. It's super simple. All you need is a frame, scrapbook paper, and window screen (I'm sure this can be found at home depot or something, but I just cut mine out of an old, broken screen that was hiding in the basement).

For Christmas I got a sewing machine! I'm so excited to learn how to make bags and skirts and dresses and such. The tough part is that I have absolutely no experience whatsoever with a sewing machine. I even got out of the life-skills class all 7th graders are supposed to take (I argued that Spanish 1 was more useful for me). I don't have any patterns or anything, but I wanted to try to make something. So today I went to the fabric store and hunted through the clearance section until I found this fun print. I bought 1.5 yards, and just started creating blindly. It doesn't look half bad for my first ever sewing project using a sewing machine! ...Granted the stitches are messy, and the inside looks atrocious. I like to think its just got character :)

Peanut!

2009-12-23T23:20:00.006-05:00

Sooo, I found this draft of a post that I never posted. I wrote it quite a while ago. Don't know why I never posted it. It's about my summer in Chicago...here goes...

Amazingly, it's already the 9th week of the first semester of my senior year of college. Whoa. Time flies (Oh, and I've decided to change my major (I think), but that's an update for another time). I realized that I never did the long-post-about-Chicago-summer-project-post. So here goes...

First, what is Summer Project? It's an evangelistic "mission" trip for college students. There are projects all over the country and world. You can check it out at www.gosummerprojects.com. You can pretty much go anywhere from New York, to Disney World, to California, to VA Beach, to New Jersey, to Detroit, to Alaska, to Mumbai, to South Africa, to Turkey, to Lebanon...the possibilities are great. I went on the Chicago Summer Project. We spent our time building Cru movements on campuses all over the city of Chicago, outreaching to the city, and ministering in the workplace.

I still miss my CSP friends dearly. I never expected to be so torn. It has gotten much easier to be away over these months. I'm back in the unbelievably open, huge, and tight-knit BG community, and I'm back on BG's campus, and I am incredibly thankful for it. However, there are still moments every once in a while I still yearn to be back with those 31 other wonderful men and women. I miss the 3am deep conversations, the goofiness, the constant hang out time. There were a few people on project who could genuinely make me laugh hard, and some amazing stories...

*Like the time Alicia and Scarlett and I got incredibly excited because we found a peanut on the floor. This little peanut led to us running around trying to find Niko (Niko! I hope you're doing well...and I hope you think of this event every time you see a peanut) so we could give him the peanut. But all the men were out somewhere. We got so hyper, we were jumping up and down on the furniture in the lofts, yelling and laughing...still wearing our tiaras :) I'm sure it was a strange sight.

*Or the very first night we were in Chicago. Me, Lindsey, Josh, Patrick, and Mike all went out and explored the city. We worked our way up to the top of the Hancock tower because Josh said the views were amazing. You should know that the bars and restaurants up there are somewhat pricey and all have a 1 drink minimum. We didn't want to buy anything, so we just snuck into each room/bar, went over to the window, crowded the unfortunate people who ate over by the windows, and then left. It was so much fun!

*Neil's cookie monster version of the song Hungry never failed to make me laugh. Haha! Oh I do miss that! ...Ninja...

*Random hang outs until 4 or 5 am were always a trip.

*One time Alicia and I went job searching, and we accidentally walked into a store of, hmm, how do I say this in a nice way...ill-repute. Hahahahaha that was soo funny!

*Ha! Alicia and I also found one of the guys' rooms unlocked at 3am, and everyone was asleep. We decided it was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up. So we turned everything we could upside down in their apartment. Then we took a pack of 100 post its, wrote random things on them, and post-it-noted their room. :) I don't think I've ever laughed so hard silently in my life! ...Then the next night, Neil got a hold of my key card to my room, and he ran with it. For the next 2 hours, Alicia and I tried to get it back from him...that was sooo ridiculous. The night involved running, wrestling, screaming, laughing, crying, scheming, holding hostages, and refrigerators ;) Oh what a night.

*The night Mike, Quinn, and my BG friends Katie and Jonathan ventured out to Lincoln Park, then walked through the city, then hung out at the beach until 2 am. That was hilarious and so much fun.

*I loved the nights when I would have sleepovers with Molly so she could have a wall mate. Those were some good and honest conversations. (Molly, come back to me!)

*Damaris' sense of humor, and the way she and Mike interacted. So much sass on both ends. Haha.

*The friends I made at work and on campus...and the fact that I still talk to these friends :)

*The saturday night outreaches that Jess and Neil planned were so well-thought out and provided true learning experiences. My favorite one was riding the El and sharing the gospel. What a sweet challenge.

*Writing the "Free Fallin" song with all the beautiful women.

*Nights spent just walking around the city with a small group of friends.

*Sitting on the wall in front of the Sears...er, Willis Tower at 1 am on a windy/rainy night with Mike and Josh. We didn't really even talk that much...just enjoyed the adventure. ...and I still remember looking in the mirror when I got back, and I thought about what a complete mess I looked from the wind/rain...but didn't care because the night was worth it.

*Getting dressed up for the banquet, and then listening to tourists at Navy Pier call us a high school prom.

*The day we spent on the beach for Impact groups...and the day we had worship on the beach, and as we were singing "how great is our God," fireworks went off on the pier.

*The last few nights when we stayed up alllll night, and then the next night when everyone who was still in town hung out down in the lobby and just talked for a few hours was marvelous.

Mmm. Memories to last a lifetime.

So what did I learn? I don't think that can be summed up into a few lines of text. However, I think one thing I learned is how to trust the Lord even more. I prayed for challenge this summer, and I definitely got it. I was put in situations and positions where I didn't always know what to do, so I had to rely on God to be the guidance I needed. He is a sweet sweet provider, friends.

p.s. There's a pesky mosquito in my living room somewhere. It has bitten me 3 times thus far...jerk.

:)

If anyone is thinking about going on project, I want to encourage you in that. It's an amazing experience. If you're not thinking about it, I encourage you to consider it. I don't believe everyone is called to it, and I think it's presumptuous to think so. However, this experience truly was amazing, and I want to be able to share it.

Good Things List

2009-12-18T14:21:00.001-05:00

A list of the good and beautiful things in my life. I was inspired to do this by my dear friend Erica. She is a beautiful woman with an inspiring heart. She recently wrote a "good things" list, and it made me cry. As Erica said, "I hope you find it inspiring or...something. Actually, I hope that you make your own list." That's exactly what I did. I made my own. Her list was a sweet reminder of how often we overlook the good, and how good it is to remember. Here's an edited version of my list...

Grace
Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
My family. We're dysfunctional, and it's great.
My brother's rap skills, and general ability to make me laugh.
The way my dog Baxter jumps 4 feet straight up into the air, and the way my other dog Bailey acts like a cat.
Music...all kinds of music. It feeds my soul.
Giant snow flakes.
Awkward moments with people...they are often the most memorable and most special.
Strong passion tea.
Songs that I can feel.
Christmas lights.
Charlie Brown Christmas trees.
Forgiveness.
Laughing so hard that I cry.
When you notice that someone is smiling at you from across the room.
The fact that Teenie has been one of my best friends since the 3rd grade. Wow.
The part of surprise parties just before the person we're surprising gets there...the part where everyone is smushed together behind a wall somewhere, trying their hardest not to laugh.
The family I found in Chicago.
Adventures in Chicago at night. Some of my fondest memories from that city came from just wandering around the city at night with a small group of close friends.
Weddings. Then the awesome parties that follow weddings.
The way your breath looks funny when it comes out of your nose in the cold.
Breakfast with Christie K on Sunday mornings at Kermit's, and the fact that we both always order the same thing: 3 slices of french toast.
The booths at Kermits, and how each one is janky beyond belief.
The way Christie M and I can giggle about nothing and everything all at the same time.
Giggling, and then having 5 people mock my giggles all at the same time.
Erica's realness. Also, the way she sometimes says something, but then realizes that she probably shouldn't have said that, and so she feels kinda bad, but then laughs about it anyway.
Pictures that capture beautiful memories.
Sitting on the beach in Chicago: 4 dear friends, the city behind us, sand between our toes, listening to the waves from the lake, gazing at the stars at 2am.
Taking fifteen 9 & 10 year olds hiking up a steep mountain, teaching them how to set up camp, and staying up entirely too late being silly with them. Then hearing them say to each other the next morning, "that was the best night ever."
The artsy-ness of Asheville.
Waking up to a cool fog every morning in the mountains of North Carolina.
Driving fast on empty roads.
The way babies hold on to one of your fingers with their whole hands.
The way puppies smell.
Sarah's intentional encouragement and general passion for life.
Getting a better grade on a paper than I thought I was going to get.
The way Jesus is preached at Brookside, and the people that make up the church there.
When the clouds break on a grey BG day and the sunlight breathes life into the day.
My friends, here in BG and all over the country.
The blessing of having mentors in my life.
My secret sunset spot in Cinci, and the beautiful, incredibly rare occasions when I get to share it with someone.
Learning what someone is passionate about.
Seeing someone succeed.
Home videos.
Embarrassing stories.
Homemade popcorn. Plain.
Art.
Kaleigh's hugs + wiggles.
Getting to know people, learning the particulars of their lives.
When people get excited about what they're passionate about, and then grant me the privilege of sharing in their joy.

I plan on keeping this list going. I'll add more whenever I think of more. Remembering and celebrating the good things in life :) Mmmm.

Footloose

2009-12-11T23:24:00.001-05:00

For much of this semester I have been on my guard. I have felt freedom, but at the same time I still felt constrained somehow. I was torn between knowing I have complete freedom in Christ, and feeling like I had to put walls up for protection. It was a weird emotion.

I think I felt so guarded because of what has been going on in my family as my parents are going through with their divorce. I love my dad, but he did manage to say some said some pretty harsh things in the moment. I've never heard him say anything like that before, and so as soon as he did and as soon as I felt hurt from it, I put my guard up. And every time I went home, which was a lot at the beginning of the semester, I felt like I had to reinforce that guard, though most likely I didn't.

All semester I hated that I was building walls. It's not me. At all. I'm usually an open book. I believe that our testimonies consist of the good and the not-so-good in our lives at all times. Even as we got a few weeks into the semester, and I started to tear down those walls, I was reluctantly still keeping parts of them up. I would hold back from my friends. Not fully answer hard questions to everyone who asked. I opened up to a few people, but even to them, not like I normally do. I think part of it was pride, part of it was feeling like I was being a downer, and part of it was just confusion. I just didn't feel fully like myself for quite some time.

However, for the past few weeks, (a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, maybe longer) I've really felt free again. I don't feel weighed down. My spirit feels footloose. I literally have been laughing harder, connecting deeper, seeing God's beauty in the seemingly ugly. I feel like myself again.

Mmm. It's good to be back. :) But I humbly ask for prayer, that the Lord would continue to open my heart and fill it with hope and joy.

It's Jesus who makes me whole, who is healing me, who provides freedom. Praise be to him.

Living in light of Zephaniah 3:17.

Dress-Up

2009-11-30T23:43:00.004-05:00

Remember the good old days of playing dress up in your mom's old shoes and clothes? Putting makeup on in the wrong places? Wearing old costume jewelry? Putting on a pretty dress is fun.

I would like something to dress up for :)

ps. Isn't that a pretty painting? Elizabeth Jameson is the artist.

Discipline of Humility

2009-11-24T11:00:00.005-05:00

We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God... It is a strange fact that Christians and even ministers frequently consider their work so important and urgent that they will allow nothing to disturb them. They think they are doing God a service in this but actually they are disdaining God's "crooked but straight path." It is part of the discipline of humility that we must not spare our hand where it can perform service and that we do not assume that our schedule is our own to manage, but allow it to be arranged by God." - Brennan Manning (The Wisdom of Tenderness)

I know I do this at times. I give up control, I am ready for my will to be molded, I am ready for my life to change, I am ready for a curve ball. But not all the time. I think I tend to apply this to the bigger things in my life, though. Not to smaller things. I could do this better.

It all comes down to a heart issue. It all boils down to whether or not I am walking in the Spirit, whether or not I am letting my life be led by who Christ is, by his Holy Spirit. I'm learning...

:)

The Snake The Cross The Crown

2009-11-21T12:07:00.016-05:00

Not just another indie-rock-folk-pop band. I recently stumbled across The Snake The Cross The Crown, and I can't get enough! Their sound is full of beautiful melodies and emotion. I know they're not "new" to the music scene, but they're new to me :) Great soundtrack for a cool, sunny November day.

A documentary on the band called On A Carousel of Sound, We Go Round came out this past summer. I haven't seen it yet, but it looks cool.

What I learned in class...

2009-11-21T10:54:00.001-05:00

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.

"In English," he said, " a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is not language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

...Yes, this is incredibly nerdy, but I thought it was clever...

Bucket List: Update

2009-11-18T19:07:00.006-05:00

I am a sucker for a good adventure. I crave it! Way back in in April I made a Bucket List of 25 things I want to do before I die. I thought it would be cool to update the things on that list that I been able to experience:

I love adventure. Here are some adventures I'd like to have sometime in my life :) (in no particular order...)

1. Be in two places at once
2. Live in a big city (done!)
3. Live in the mountains (done!)
4. Sleep under the stars (done!)
5. Learn to play the guitar (working on it...)
6. Ride in a hot air balloon
7. Read the whole Bible (done!)
8. Buy lunch for a homeless person (done!)
9. Visit all 50 states
10. Pet a dolphin
11. Go to a foreign country and do nothing touristy
12. Learn to cook
13. Graduate college
14. See Van Gogh’s paintings
15. Go to a real pub in Ireland
16. Put a message in a bottle and throw it into the sea
17. Record something in a recording studio
18. See the northern lights
19. Go whitewater rafting (done! - I'd like to go again though...sooo fun)
20. Go to a symphony
21. See an opera at the Metropolitan Opera House
22. Go to a real blues/jazz bar in Chicago or New York
23. Learn to sew
24. Have a picnic by a waterfall
25. Sing “When You Wish Upon a Star” in front of Cinderella’s Castle in Disney World (not in front of people, just me)

I have a new item I'd like to add to this list:

26. Find a treasure

Just a few steps closer :) Mmm good.

Sparkle Party

2009-11-08T18:03:00.017-05:00

Yes, Sparkle Party.

My sweet friend Christie and I were chatting one day, and we were lamenting the fact that since our birthdays are in the summer, we never get to spend them with all of our BG friends. Therefore we decided to throw a party for our HALF-birthdays, and the theme was Sparkles.

Christie, my partner in crime for the night. Oh, and Alyssa's pup Hiro.

All in all, it was a wonderfully fun night of twinkling lights, loud music, ridiculous dancing, and between 40 and 50 of our great friends :)

After we finished cleaning up, Christie and I were trying to decide what our next party's theme should be. Suggestions?

PS. Thanks to the wonderful ladies of 20B (Alyssa, Lori, Erin, and Leslie) for letting us use their spacious apartment!

Photo Journal(ism?)

2009-11-02T01:10:00.018-05:00

Photo Journal: For the past 7 days I kept a photo journal of my life. (Actually, I tried to keep a photo journal of my life. A lot of times I forgot I was supposed to be taking pictures of things. So I only have pictures from a few of the things I did in the past 7 days. Oh well, maybe next time I'll be more disciplined.)

Saturday: Alyssa, Nate, Me, Kaleigh, Sarah, Christie, Christie, and Michelle at Sarah's house in Columbus.

Saturday: Driving to Pumpkin Palooza!

Saturday: My car on the way to Pumpkin Palooza

Saturday: Here we are at Pumpkin Palooza!

Saturday: So we saw this random baby stroller with dogs in it...I laughed hard. Saturday: Here we are at Kaleigh's house :)

Tuesday: Visiting Sarah and her sickness

Tuesday: Practicing some music at the guys' place

Thursday: At Cru

Friday: Random breakfast with some good fellas
Friday: Bailey
Friday: Baxter
Saturday: I carved a birdie pumpkin :)

Saturday: ...and then my mom took a picture of me with my birdie pumpkin

There are many holes to the story of this week. I forgot that I was supposed to be photo-recording everything. Whoops :) I shall try again soon.

Questions 10.31.09

2009-10-31T00:16:00.007-04:00

Questions I don't necessarily have the answers to...but don't necessarily need to know the answers to. These are just some of the things my mind has wandered to lately...

1. Once someone dies can you still pray for them?

2. Since God is outside of time, and every moment is in the present for him, can we pray for things that have already happened? For example, if someone dies, and we don't know if they knew Jesus or not, can we pray for them? In the earthly sense of time, the person has already died, and therefore either they chose God or they didn't. However, if I pray a prayer right now, isn't that prayer present to God now AND present to God at the time of the creation, and won't it be present to God 57 years from now? So can we pray for things after they happen?

3. How come no one in the Bible ever prays to the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit is a person, and is also God. So how come people in the Bible pray to God and Jesus, but not to the Holy Spirit? Is it because the Spirit is the "pathway" to God and Jesus?

Where is the Love?

2009-10-26T21:51:00.002-04:00

I got in a fight with one of the campus preachers the other day. Well, okay, not a fight...a disagreement. Here's the story...

The stereotypical loud-preachin', offensive-sign-carryin', bible-thumpin' man was out in front of the student union again the other day. He even had a few friends with him. Now, BG's campus is somewhat used to these guys being around every once in a while, but it doesn't mean people like him...at all. He likes to stand in the free speech area and yell things like "If you're gay, you'd better pray!" and "The fiery gates of HELL await you unless you repent now!" I seriously want to punch these men in the face they make me so angry. It's no wonder students get in fights with him all the time! I don't blame them!!!

So anyway, the men were here on a cool, rainy fall day, stirring people up who happened to be walking by. I decided I'd walk past the commotion because I like to hear what the men who wear sweatshirts that say "repent or perish" on them have to say. I had no intention of talking to anyone, but one of the guys came up to me and asked me if I knew the Lord. I said, "yes, yes I do." He said, "well good. And what do you think of all of this?" I pondered for a second if I should give him my honest opinion or not, and I decided I should because he asked for it. So I told him I respected the intention behind what they were trying to do, but I didn't think that this was an effective ministry for BG's campus at all. He asked me why I thought that. I told him it is because they are preaching God's wrath instead of God's love. "I feel no love from this," I said to him. Then he raised his voice at me: "We are preaching the truth!" I agreed that it was truth they were preaching, but there was seemingly no love behind it. He retorted, in his raised voice, "If you disagree with what we're preaching then you disagree with the Lord!"

At that point I considered the conversation too ridiculous to continue, especially since I know it's pretty pointless to try and argue with the campus preachers that come around. It just breaks my heart that this is the picture that Bowling Green students get of Christianity... Where is the love?

To All the Country Fans...

2009-10-15T01:24:00.004-04:00

Hey ya'll. I'm not the most intense country music fan in the world, but I do like some stuff. BUT, if you do absolutely love country music, you should check this out! One of my uncles, David Dunkley, plays percussion (and other things) in Tim McGraw's band, and they were on Letterman the other night. Cool, huh? I saw a youtube clip, and I wanted to say "I know him!" but there was nobody watching it with me...

Check it out HERE. He's rockin the harmonica...

Shoulder to Shoulder

2009-10-14T15:04:00.004-04:00

Each semester I pick a book of the Bible to study deeply. This semester, I was having trouble picking a book and sticking with it...which actually means I was just being lazy. One night, however, I opened my Bible to a random page hoping to find some truth that I would connect with. I opened up to Zephaniah 3, and read the first verse my finger landed on. Zephaniah 3:17. I've been loving it ever since, and thus Zephaniah, one of the minor prophets, became my book of the semester.

So I've been studying it pretty intensely especially over the past few days. Reading it today though, I was caught off guard as I was brought to tears as I was reading part of chapter 3. Chapters 1, 2, and part of 3 talk about how God's judgment will affect the earth and people. But then in chapter 3 verses 8-20, an intense amount of hope is surfaced. The Lord says in 3:9

For then I will give to the peoples purified lips,
That all of them may call on the name of the Lord,
To serve Him shoulder to shoulder.

Wow. God will wash us clean, and we will serve him by his side. God goes on to say in 3:11

In that day you will feel no shame
Because of all your deeds
By which you have rebelled against Me

Can you imagine? 3:17 says

The Lord your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

This is the love of a Savior. This is the love of a true Father. This is the love of a true King.

I cried when I read this.

This gives me a lot of hope, but it also breaks my heart. I want everyone to experience this love. I'm not content just having it for myself. It must be shared, it must be spread, it must be known. It is true. Short of hearing the words directly from Jesus' lips, the Bible is the purest form of truth I know, and I want everyone to know it too.

Time is short. This is urgent. Love must be shared.

Never Never Land

2009-10-12T15:55:00.003-04:00

Peter Pan was one of my favorite movies growing up. I loved it. I always wanted to be like the Lost Boys and never grow up...

Do I really have to grow up? (Does anyone know what that really means?) My Grandma said to me recently that I'm "growing up to be a such a nice young lady." My Grandma is so sweet, and I love her a lot. But I can't help but wonder, sooo...What does it actually mean to grow up? Apparently Grandma noticed something. Not that I think that I'm not growing up, or anything, but there are certain things I don't think I'm ready to lose. I love my days of play and adventure. Picnics, basketball games, fields of flowers, forests of golden-yellow and fiery-red, bonfires & s'mores, bike rides, playing in the warm rain, traveling around the country (or the world!), trips to the zoo, playing with my dogs in the back yard, going to shows/concerts, snowball fights...all things I will never be too grown up for. I hope that sense of adventure never goes away.

I'm realizing, though, that a sweet sense of new adventure comes with this whole "growing up" deal. The more I "grow up," the deeper my relationship with the Lord becomes, and the deeper my relationships with people become. I like that part of growing up a whole lot :) And I am thoroughly excited to see what God has in store for my life next. I'm at a point where I'm ready for God to write the story of my future, and what an adventure that's going to be! (Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not in any kind of hurry. I love and am unbelievably thankful for where I am right now. I can't imagine doing anything else besides spending my time with all of the wonderful people in little ole Bowling Green, Ohio. But I'm also open to new adventures.) So what my Grandma meant by "growing up," I may never know...it's probably just a Grandma thing to say. Hah.

On a different note, I'm trying to train myself to like coffee. I feel like its a right of passage into adulthood. ...I'm failing miserably, though. Every time I try, it still tastes just a gross as the last time I tried it. I guess coffee will not be taking me out of my Never Never Land :)

PS - Jason Mraz is constantly playing on my ipod lately. We've been buds this weekend while I paint rooms and clean out the basement at my mom's house. I greatly appreciate his play on words and sounds. Plus! I can play a few of his songs on my guitar now! I recommend his live stuff, its better than the studio-recorded stuff.

Check out Zephaniah 3:17 :)

Full

2009-08-30T22:50:00.009-04:00

What a full week this was! Classes began. In case you care, I'm taking shakespeare, world lit (ancient-1700), grammar & writing, teaching writing, and educational psychology. ...You know, I don't even think I want to teach anymore. At least not forever. I want to go into ministiry :) ...These classes that are actually teaching me how to teach though, are making me excited to get into the classroom to see what it's really like. Hmm...

Anyway, there's been a slew of CRU stuff this week too. Cook out monday night, meetings tuesday night, "great cru card giveaway" in the dorms wednesday, CRU on thursday, and Cookies for a Cause + Band Jam friday.

Ps...So Cookies For A Cause was hilarious. Everything was set up. Cookies were out, milk was iced, bands set up on the stage....and then it started pouring. It was a mad dash to get all the bands' equipment back into the trucks, and then to save all the cookies from getting soggy. Ew.

Obviously the event had to be moved. The bands went home, so we were just left with the cookies. What does one do with 600 cookies from the Cookie Jar??? Hit up the dorms of course! Here we are in Kreisher...Drenched with rainwater, and a little cold, but the cookies were saved!

Donate some money to a cause, get a cookie + milk.

Then some of the guys ran and grabbed instruments...

Then a tiny crowd gathered :)

Donations for 3 separate charities were given, all the cookies were eaten, and there was some sweet music to top it all off!

PS - If you've never experienced The Cookie Jar in BG, you need to ASAP.
PPS - That means you project people need to come here!

An End Comes

2009-08-10T19:20:00.005-04:00

Project ended yesterday. It was a sad day. I stuck around until about 1, so I got to see the majority of people leave. It was much harder than I thought it was going to be. I cried a lot. And then when it was my turn to leave, I lost it. Most people had already left and I didn't have too many goodbyes to say, but it was still really hard. I definitely was not expecting that. I don't do goodbyes well... It's such a weird feeling to grow so close to people, and then be torn away from them.

God's grace is good, and I know that my emotions are high right now.

I'm excited to get back to BG though! I'm so excited to see how God's going to work this year. And I'm pumped to be back with my friends again :) Mmm it's going to be good!

Grace. Love. Mercy. Friends.

Intentional

2009-08-03T11:49:00.002-04:00

I love how intentional God is when he brings people into our lives. It truly is beautiful.

I can see BG-area-people road trips to Miami, Akron, IU, Ball State, and possibly even South Carolina :) And of course I'll be back in Chicago as often as possible! Mmm I'm excited!!

Tasting Forgiveness

2009-07-28T13:17:00.005-04:00

Drinking of mercy. Feast on redemption. Tasting forgiveness.

I am blessed. I don't deserve these blessings. God has brought so much good into my life by his amazing grace. How can I praise him enough?

Here is my project :) We're on the beach with the beautiful city in the background! So great!

This is my impact group...we're pretty special...

More pictures to come when I have more time!

Eternally grateful for this all...

I AGREE WITH ANDREW

2009-07-23T11:44:00.002-04:00

Do you?

http://iagreewithandrew.blogspot.com/

Thankful. Excited. Inspired. Hopeful.

2009-07-20T14:37:00.003-04:00

I am so thankful for this experience God has oh so graciously provided. Being here in Chicago on a summer project has been one of the best experiences of my life. I love it all. The people, the city, the minisitries, the campuses, the challenges. I can't imagine being anywhere else this summer. God has brought amazing men and women to this project, and my heart has abounded with joy in getting to know them. I think my signature phrase this summer has been, "So what's your story?" I genuinely love hearing where my friends are coming from and where their hearts are. Maybe I'm forward, but I'm not going to just sit around and let moments to connect with people pass me by. People are what matter in this world...well, along with God :) Praise be to God for everything.

I am excited to see what else God is going to do this summer. He has provided so many opportunities so far. What have we even done this summer already? We already had the short film festival at Columbia. We've done outreaches at the Taste of Chicago, a homeless shelter, Buckingham Fountain, Navy Pier... We've been out on campuses finding students to talk to, and sharing the gospel with them. We've been seeking out student leaders on several different campuses so we can work on building movements on those campuses. We've had 6 Re:late meetings so far...wow. We've been building relationships at our different churches...

*Can I just make a side note about my church? I LOVE IT. I absolutely love the church I go to here in Chicago. It's called River City. Why do I think it's so great? Let me start here: At BG for the past few years, Cru has been trying to build relationships with Gospel Choir on campus. Cru on our campus is primarily white students, and Gospel Choir is primarily black students...and both are great ministries on campus. We had this event 2 years ago called "A Night United" where we came together on one of our Oasis nights and worshiped and fellowshiped together. The Cru band and the Gospel Choir band joined forces and created some of the most beautiful and uplifting music I've ever heard. Different cultures, different ways of worshiping, different music styles, and different people came together. We had about a 4 hour worship session...ending in us all up at the front of the church, arms over shoulders, singing at the tops of our lungs, brothers and sisters in Christ. It felt like a small little slice of what heaven will look like.............WELL this is what River City is like!!! It's a multicultural church. There is not one race or ethnicity that is dominant over another in this church. It's beautiful!!! The sermons are really solid, grounded in the Bible, and delivered with genuine hearts. The worship is amazing! Week 1, we worshiped in Spanish. Week 2 was contemporary Christian music like Chris Tomlin. Week 3 was gospel style. Week 4 we did straight up hymns with just a piano. Week 5 was gospel again. This past week was a mixture between contemporary Christian and spanish. I love it. They're also not afraid to talk about the tough stuff. Throughout the month of July, the church is addressing the topic of race in the form of examining and celebrating European-American white culture. We've looked at the good and the bad. Every few months they do this for different races. It's been extremely interesting. ...I feel so blessed that God has placed me at this church for the summer. It has truly been a soul-inspiring and eye-opening experience. Mmmm, it's good.

Ok...so back to the excited-ness. I'm excited for this week coming up. We've a campaign called "I Agree with Andrew" beginning this week. Here's the link to the website for our campaign: http://iagreewithandrew.blogspot.com/ . Check it! Also, Allison from River City is coming in to speak at Re:late on wednesday as a guest speaker. She'll be speaking on the authenticity of Christianity. Not only will it be great to have someone outside of project come speak, but also it will be a great way to build relationships with River City.

I'm also incredibly inspired. The things God has shown me this summer are so inspiring! The people here are incredible. I love living in this community of faithful, strong, and loving Christians. With each new story I hear, or each new joy or struggle that is shared with me, I feel like God is giving me a unique opportunity to see how He is working in the lives of others. Because I'm only on project for 9 weeks total, I've felt this sense of urgency in getting to know people. Back at BG I have never really felt that urgency. However, I want to take this urgency back with me to my school. I'm also excited to take the ministry building ideas that we've been trying and implementing back to my campus. I love the I Agree With campaign. I've loved learning how to seek out students for a ministry. I want to apply that to my outward team back on campus. ...I'm just thrilled.

Hopeful is the final feeling for the day. I have hope for what God will do with these last few weeks we're all in Chicago together. I have hope how He will use us in this city, on these campuses, and in our churches. I have hope for the community to grow closer and for more relationships to grow stronger. I have hope that this community will continue after project ends. I have hope for inspiration to come to everyone as we all go back to school. I have hope for God's sovereignty and provision. I have hope.

God is good, friends. So good. :)

Tired, but fully alive!

2009-07-09T01:30:00.006-04:00

Yes, I'm tired. Project is tiring. I should probably be sleeping now...hmm.

However, I've decided that I'd rather spend my time getting to know people. I'd rather not sleep my summer project in Chicago away. God has provided this amazing experience, and I will not miss a moment! And can I just say that I love meeting new people? I do. Especially when the people are really genuine and fun. I've loved getting to know my project peoples :)

God is good. Really good.

Oh, and check out a band called The Glorious Unseen. A friend here introduce me to this band, and it has not stopped playing on my ipod. Check it!

Love

How deep the Father's love

2009-06-16T17:12:00.004-04:00

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Mmm. These words are powerful.

I love Chicago

2009-06-09T17:57:00.002-04:00

Seriously, I do. I was a little curious as to how I would feel about this city once I was here, but I absolutely can see now why people love it so much!

...wow, ok, while I was writing this blog post, I got a call from my friend Mike saying that he thinks he might have found me a job. !!!!!!!!!! He has an internship this summer with an apartment leasing company here in Chicago. The other day I asked him if he could maybe ask if there are any job openings anywhere by chance. And there is! They need someone to proofread everything that goes onto their website, and write a few descriptions of properties and such. Mike told his boss that I'm studying to be an English teacher, and she said I'd be good for the position!

Yesterday I was freaking out that I would not ever find a job. Last night and this morning I prayed so much for God to take away my worries. I re-surrendered everything to Him and said I didn't care where I worked. I know this job is not about me in any way. I feel so grateful right now.

Courtesy of StumbleUpon

2009-06-03T11:17:00.004-04:00

Here's an interesting read...

Washington - When Jody Richards saw a homeless man begging outside a downtown McDonald's recently, he bought the man a cheeseburger. There's nothing unusual about that, except that Richards is homeless, too, and the 99-cent cheeseburger was an outsized chunk of the $9.50 he'd earned that day from panhandling.

You can read the full story at TruthOut.org.

babies

2009-05-20T14:59:00.014-04:00

Zoo babies, to be exact. Amber and I headed to the Cincinnati Zoo yesterday to see the zoo babies. The weather was perfect, the animals were adorable, and I got some fun pictures!

Parrot...not a baby...just a parrot...

Baby gorilla!!!

He was just sitting like this...I thought it was cute...

He's gigantic!

A butterfly...

This is a stork...not the most aesthetically beautiful creature...

I forget what kind of bird this is...

Hah! I just think this is funny...

Baby lynx! Soooo cute...

The other baby lynx...

na⋅ive⋅té

2009-05-18T22:33:00.004-04:00

[nah-ee-vuh-tey]

-noun
1. the quality or state of being naive; natural or artless simplicity, inexperienced

True story: I've been looking for a job in Chicago for a while now. Yesterday, I decided to try Craigslist. I found an advertisement for a tutoring position for a child that was coming to the US from China. Cool, I thought. That would be a sweet job. I knew it couldn't be a full time job or anything, but it sounded like an interesting opportunity. So I sent the craigslist-poster an email, not expecting anything. He told me he was considering a few people for the position, and he would get back to me soon. (At this point I still had no information about any details of the job.) Well, today I get an email saying (in one incredibly everlasting, broken english run-on sentence) something to the extent of:

I am willing to pay you $82/hour. I expect you to tutor James (the Chinese kid) for 1 hour 3 times a week. I will send you a large check in the mail, and I am trusting that you will cash the check, take the money that you deserve, and send the rest to the nanny that I am employing for the summer. Please send me all of your contact information so we can begin this process.

Oh, it went on to say other things, and nothing was stated as plainly as that, but that's basically what it said. I knew something didn't sound right about it, but I really didn't know. I was uncomfortable with the idea of him sending me a lot of money, but I didn't really think about it. I read the email to my parents, and they both almost got angry with me. My mom went off on a tangent about money laundering and how illegal it is (she has been a manager at a bank for eons), and how its all a scam, and how she sees this kind of stuff at work all the time. My dad was trying to tell me how to fix it (typical man thing, always with a solution), and how the guy was trying to get me to send a huge amount of money to some random person. Meanwhile I'm sitting there still worried about the poor Chinese kid who needs to learn English somehow.

. . .and then it clicked. What if THERE IS NO POOR CHINESE KID?!?! I thought. What if my parents are right? I thought back to what my project director, Nancy, advised to me the other day, "If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably too good to be true." She was right. It all made sense when I really thought about it. A Chinese man (yes, he claimed to be Chinese) sent an email with the Latin name "Sanchez" in it, tells me his son will be in the US for 1 month, that he will be staying with a Nanny, and that she will bring the kid to a place of my choice for the tutoring (so I don't go to their home...possibly because there is no home). The emailer wanted to send me a large sum of money in the form of a check, trust me to take the money I deserve, and send the rest to some stranger...

I have to laugh at myself because of the complete ridiculousness of the situation! How did I not see these things? I was caught up on the idea of possibly getting to tutor some cute little Chinese boy and help him learn English. Sometimes I amaze myself.

I'm glad God puts rational people in my life. He is good. I am naive. The end.

2009-05-16T12:47:00.000-04:00

Birthday!

missing Asheville

2009-05-08T15:41:00.010-04:00

Lately I've been missing Asheville, North Carolina. I lived in Black Mountain, which is right outside of Asheville, last summer. As the weather here is warming, I'm reminded of the fun, artsy city more and more.

In Black Mountain there was a pizza place called My Father's and coffee shop called The Dripolater where a lot of my time off of camp life was spent when we stayed in Black Mountain.

I miss the mountains and the glorious views...

In Asheville, the number of unique and funky shops provided entertainment for hours...

...and then my favorite coffee shop in the city: The Double Decker Coffee Company on Biltmore Ave. Check it out next time you're in the city!

Maybe a weekend trip will happen soon. Maybe for my birthday. Maybe. :)

On a different note...

I've really been able to see how God has been working in my life and the lives of those in my family lately. For me, with everything my family has been going through lately, I've felt this overarching peace about the whole situation. For a while, I was really concerned as to why I had not yet had a really hard time. Sure, I was affected. Its my family and I love them, of course I was affected. However, I didn't have an incredibly hard time with anything. I know that God is in control. I've had a lot of hope from when this all started 3 weeks ago. I didn't completely understand why everything happened, and I still don't. I quickly came to realize that I don't need to know all of the answers. Whether I know them or not, God's will won't change. I'm under His gracious protection. He loves me, He leads me, and He protects me. He does the same for my family as well. It has been beautiful to see how our Lord has redeemed the situation. Things are not even close to perfect in any way, but they are being worked on. I'm excited to see how much more God will bless and redeem the situation.

He is good, friends. Really good :)

2009-05-06T01:12:00.002-04:00

My apartment smells like lilacs, I hung out with some of my favorite people tonight, and it is warm enough to sleep with my window open all night long. I'm a happy girl :)

a thought or two

2009-05-02T17:17:00.010-04:00

As I begin to clean my apartment and pack up my belongings, I'm remembering how much fun this year has been. Sure, there have been some down times, but the good times infinitely outweigh the bad.

Mostly, I'm amazed by the people God has brought into my life this year. The experiences were great, but the people were wonderful. I've loved the time spent getting to know them. I wish I would have had the chance to get to know some others better.

Mmmm...off to study for finals...

bucket list

2009-04-17T08:50:00.003-04:00

I love adventure. Here are some adventures I'd like to have sometime in my life :) (in no particular order...)

1. Be in two places at once
2. Live in a big city
3. Live in the mountains (done!)
4. Sleep under the stars (done!)
5. Learn to play the guitar
6. Ride in a hot air balloon
7. Read the whole Bible
8. Buy lunch for a homeless person
9. Visit all 50 states
10. Pet a dolphin
11. Go to a foreign country and do nothing touristy
12. Learn to cook
13. Graduate college
14. See Van Gogh’s paintings
15. Go to a real pub in Ireland
16. Put a message in a bottle and throw it into the sea
17. Record something in a recording studio
18. See the northern lights
19. Go whitewater rafting (done! - I'd like to go again though...sooo fun)
20. Go to a symphony
21. See an opera at the Metropolitan Opera House
22. Go to a real blues bar in Chicago or New York
23. Learn to sew
24. Have a picnic by a waterfall
25. Sing “When You Wish Upon a Star” in front of Cinderella’s Castle in Disney World (not in front of people, just me)

Thinking about all of this though, I’ll drop it all to keep meaningful relationships and to follow God wholeheartedly. Nothing means more to me than God and people.

oh, hey!

2009-04-12T20:47:00.005-04:00

Thank the Lord for his Son. Today we celebrated his resurrection :) Beautiful.

Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
- Romans 6:8-11

I had a little time to experiment with my new brushes too... I may not be a painter, but I enjoy trying :) hehe

I used watercolors on sheet music (though this paper is not ideal for watercolors). Specifically, "Viens, Mallika, les lianes en fleurs... Sous le dôme épais," more commonly known as the "Flower Duet" from Debiles' Lakmé. It's an immensely popular, and stunningly beautiful piece. Yes, it is opera, but its brilliant. Have a listen.

beauty

2009-04-11T16:54:00.004-04:00

Today is one of those days where I took a step back and thought, "wow, do I really get to live this life?"

Yesterday was another great friday. I got to have some alone time in the morning, spent some time in prayer. Then went to classes, gave a presentation, and then had some grade-A conversation. Worked out, and then a bunch of friends and I headed over to University Hall and played sardines (Sardines is like reverse hide-and-seek. Person A hides, then when person B finds them, B hides with A. Then when C finds them C hides with A & B...and so on. Last person to find the group loses!). Then Ben went and got his projector from his apartment, and we were able to watch Slumdog Millionaire on one of the giant screens in one of the lecture halls Olscamp! Hah! What a great idea.

I'm just amazed though, at the stunning community that God has provided...

Now I get to spend the rest of the weekend with my fam :)

Oh, and I got some new watercolors today :)

itch

2009-04-04T22:23:00.003-04:00

I've had this creative itch lately. I've felt it for a while, but I don't know how to let it out. Usually I'd go lock myself in a practice room and sing for a while, or go attempt to be clever with a camera, but I don't feel like doing that. I just tried drawing with my favorite mediums: photo paper and ultra fine point sharpies. I could only find 4 colors though. Lime green, yellow, blueish-green, and brown. I drew a bird. A boring bird. Turned out to be nothing special, and I still feel the creative-whatever-it-is stirring.

I think I want to paint. I haven't painted for a while. I don't have anything to paint with or on. I think I want to incorporate sheet music into the painting. Hmm.

Oscar Peterson's "Laura" is good.

A Heartbreak

2009-03-31T10:06:00.009-04:00

A few men were on campus yesterday in the heavily trafficked area in front of the Student Union. One held a sign that said "FEAR GOD" on one side and "GOD HATES SINNERS" on the other side. The other man shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campus, his booming voice echoed off the many buildings that scattered the flat campus. He said things like, "You're going to burn in the lake of fire! Repent for your sins now!" and "Do you want to go to hell?" and "The day is coming. Are you prepared?" For what seemed like an endless amount of time they continued with this, creating an image of an always scary, unjust, ill-willed, scheming, underhanded, and unloving God. They stood out there on Bowling Green State University's campus for about an hour carrying the sign, shouting shouting shouting.

UGH. :( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that these men think they are doing good. They believe they are serving this campus well. But it honestly breaks my heart every time these men show up. It is hard to watch because what these men represent to the hundreds upon hundreds of students that hear their message, is not what God is like at all.

These men made themselves, and thus Christians as a whole, out to be belittlers of others, know-it-alls, condemners, holier-than-thou types, hypocrites, people who worship their theology more than Jesus, fake, bigots, people who think they're better than other people...I could go on...

What broke my heart even more was to hear the conversations other students around me were having about the "preachers." Two girls took a few minutes to work up the courage to go stand near the men and hold hands and hug each other like they were a lesbian couple just to see what the men would say. A couple walked out of Moseley Hall laughing hysterically and wondered why "Christians even bother living in the real world if it just pisses them off so much." A man dressed in all black with heavy black boots on, a few chains hanging off of his belt, and his jet black hair covering most of his face exited the Union, headed in the direction of the men. Once he realized who the men were, he turned around and took a different path so as to avoid them completely.

Heartbreak.

Praising God for these blessings...

2009-03-29T15:14:00.016-04:00

Praise the LORD, all you nations;
extol him, all you peoples.
For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.
Praise the LORD. - Psalm 117

My family

This picture makes me so happy... Grandma is laughing really hard, Grandpa is trying to control Tyce who does not want to pose for any more pictures, and Sophie has the most fake smile on her face. Perfect.

My puppies, Baxter & Bailey...

Sunsets in my "secret sunset location" in Cincinnati...

these women and the Every Student Sent conference with Cru...

Beautiful winter days...

Not being too old to play in the snow...

The view from my cabin at camp...

My brother Kyle...

My sweet cousins. Kyle (my bro), Shayne, Ryan, Sophie, and Tyce

Today was good. Church was good. Guitar playing was not so good, but fun. Time with my sweet friends was good.

Funny story though! Today I experienced the biggest freak weather moment of my life. So I was out putting gas in my car at a local gas station, and it was sprinkling a little bit. All of a sudden, the wind whipped up and around incredibly quickly, and the rain turned to hail. But the hail didn't just fall. The wind was so strong that the bits of ice were practically flying sideways! Little pellets of ice smacked into my face, each one stinging like an angry little bee. The ice was seeping into my shoes, pelting my neck, and was tangling and freezing in my hair, which quickly became laughably disheveled because of the seemingly hurricane-force winds. I'm sure this all looked quite hilarious, since it caught me and everyone else around me completely off guard. What started off as calm visit to the gas station, quickly became a sprint to find shelter of some sort. ...It was so weird. After a few minutes, the hail turned back into rain, and all was normal again.

:)

Remembering...

2009-03-18T00:28:00.005-04:00

"I am saved by God's grace and THAT'S not fair." - Meredith Rankin

What an incredible woman. I didn't know her well, but she has had an immense impact on my life. She's such a beautiful inspiration. It has been almost a year since she went to rest with our wonderful Maker.

Meredith said this when she was asked if she thought that having cancer was fair. What an amazingly heaven-focused response. Her grace and strength are moving beyond words. Meredith truly is a bright and shining light in this world.

We all wore the blue Meredith's Miracles bands for months to remember to pray for her...to pray for her miracles. However I think it's beyond clear now that Meredith was the miracle...

"A miracle is a pleasantly unexpected event in life that gives hope to those who need it, reassurance to those who don't, and awe to those who never believed it was possible." -Meredith Rankin

...yup, that was her.

Meredith spoke to her uncle about God, life, and death in the days before she passed. He asked her what she would like to say about what she has learned on her dear journey. She replied,

"To count my blessings, soak in my experiences, love my friends, and appreciate my family. It's not about me, but for the glory of God." -Meredith Rankin

Amen.

Meredith's CaringBridge Journal is truly touching, to say the very least.

Ecclesiastes 3:9-11

2009-02-23T23:38:00.004-05:00

God's world is too big and beautiful for us, but its satisfactions are too small. They are never enough. Because we are made for eternity, the things of this world can never fully satisfy us.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:9-11

2009-02-15T22:37:00.004-05:00

Why do I become more and more heartbroken by the world after reading more and more of the Bible?

Because I'm seeing the world from God's perspective. The world is not as it is supposed to be. We are far from Eden.

Let's help change that...

2009-02-07T23:57:00.002-05:00

Psalm 116 is good. Really good.

My neighbors are having a party...an incredibly loud party. I can feel the bass in the floor. I feel bad for the people who live under them...

Hah. I have no profound thoughts :]

2008-12-06T13:58:00.002-05:00

Haha! 'Tis the season :)

2008-11-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving :)

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I love this time spent with my family!

2008-10-26T12:52:00.004-04:00

God knows its easy to hide
easy to hide from the things that you feel
and harder to blindly trust what you can't understand.
God knows its easy to run
easy to run from the people you love
and harder to stand and fight for the things you believe.

We get to walk in the very footsteps of Jesus, and we get to be like Jesus and love one another. No pressure, just privilege. Whoa.

Forgiveness. Grace. Love.

2008-10-21T11:32:00.003-04:00

All I can do is ask myself the cliche saying, what would Jesus do? ...That's how I know in my heart what is right and what is wrong. Not what would I do, what would you do, what would my parents do, what would my friends do...what would Jesus do.

I hate that doing what is right doesn't always please everyone. But I have to do what I know is pleasing to God.

Forgiveness. Grace. Love.

2008-10-05T18:32:00.001-04:00

I WANT MY LIFE TO BE SO MUCH MORE THAN LONG!!!

2008-09-23T11:18:00.002-04:00

Regrets. What does that even mean?

In one of my classes recently, the subject of regret came up. The question "Do you have any regrets?" was posed. At first I thought, "Well, sure. Who doesn't have some sort of regret?" Instead of paying attention to the unfolding lecture, I pondered this question for the rest of class. Why do I have regrets? I shouldn't. I don't, not really...not once I really think about it. I only "have regrets" about situations that I feel like I failed in. But in all actuality, I do not regret these times at all.

I'm human. I fall. The end.

If we were perfect, then we wouldn't need a savior. We wouldn't need Jesus Christ. We would all be perfect, flawless, indefectible, consummate, supremely excellent in quality, impeccable, and everything else that can possibly be said to describe perfection. We would all embody the beauty that is Christ and Christ only.

But we're not perfect. I'm not perfect. I need a savior. I need Jesus Christ. I am the opposite of perfection. Impaired. Fractured. Cracked. Broken. Injured. Torn. Weak. Jesus is the only perfection I know. I am made to fall and to break so that Jesus can pick me up and put me back together. If I didn't fall, I would not be the woman I am today.

It's not like I've never heard any of this before...

I have no regrets.

2008-09-20T18:47:00.002-04:00

I love the Lord.

I love my friends.

I love my family.

I love my life.

I love people.

I love my dogs.

I love.

Philippians 2:3

Beautiful :)

2008-09-02T10:01:00.003-04:00

It is a beautiful day.

People are great.

God is great.

The end.

2008-08-24T23:34:00.003-04:00

This has been very present on my heart for a while now. What can I do to serve the Lord more? What other things can I do in my life to glorify Him more?

I stand in awe of the work He's done. Each new person I meet. Each new story I hear...all show His glory.

I just can't get over it.

And on a wonderful note: Psalm 104 :)

2008-08-18T16:02:00.001-04:00

al;dskjpjdnakdjljnqewfona;ld?

2008-08-16T23:39:00.006-04:00

So this weekend is the annual and ever-so-popular Seton Festival here in the good old hometown. I love festivals. They are good people watching places. However, I felt so uneasy at this particular festival. I don't know why...maybe it is because there were so many people from my high school there that I wasn't ever really friends with in high school that I talked to. Maybe its because I didn't know many people in the group I was with. Maybe we just stayed too long. ...Oh how things change.

Could I complain more? Ugh.

I think this is pretty. It's just a butterfly sticker on one of the art tables at camp. I like how the butterfly is plain, and the table full of life. ...Hah maybe I'm weird.

2008-08-11T15:42:00.002-04:00

This is the view from the porch of my cabin at camp. Breathtaking.

We get so preoccupied with ourselves, the words we speak, the plans and projects we conceive, that we become immune to the glory of creation. We barely notice the clouds passing over the moon or the dewdrops clinging to rose petals. The ice on the pond comes and goes. The wild blackberries ripen and wither. The blackbird nests outside our bedroom window, but we don't see her. We avoid the cold and the heat. We refrigerate ourselves in the summer and entomb ourselves in plastic in the winter. We rake up every leaf as fast as it falls. We are so accustomed to buying prepackaged meats and fish and fowl in supermarkets, we never think and blink about the bounty of God's creation. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. We miss the experience of awe, reverence, and wonder. Our world is saturated with grace, and the lurking presence of God is revealed not only in spirit but in matter - in a deer leaping across a meadow, in the flight of an eagle, in fire and water, in a rainbow after a summer storm, in a gentle doe streaking through a forest, in Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, in a child licking a chocolate ice cream cone, in a woman with windblown hair. God intended for us to discover His loving presence in the world around us. -The Ragamuffin Gospel.

What if God made things beautiful to hint at the unfathomable beauty that is Heaven. Everything is just a sneak peak or preview of what splendor is to come. ...hmmm

2008-08-11T15:00:00.005-04:00

Today I have many random thoughts:

Wow. I cannot believe the summer has gone by so quickly! I got back from Camp Merri-Mac on Saturday around midnight. I can't even begin to describe what an amazing experience that was. When I first went to camp, I didn't fully trust in God's plan for me. I was doubting the decision to go to camp in the first place. Everything was overwhelming, exhausting, and hard. There were many new things to learn, a well established community to join, and responsibilities to take care of. I was so overwhelmed, I actually made up and convinced myself of reasons why I should just quit and go home. However, once I got into the routine, and allowed myself to see the beauty of Merri-Mac, I was sold. The ministry at that camp is amazing and full of life. There were some rough patches this year, but nothing too big. For through Him all things are possible. Amazing people, amazing campers, and amazing experiences were brought into my life this summer, and I am so thankful for it all. :)

I definitely got some lessons on patience this summer. My patience was tested thoroughly as each new day brought new and challenging events. I bet that included in each and every one of my prayers this summer was a prayer for patience for my co-counselors and myself. Prayer and being in the word were also put on my heart. I need to rely on them more.

I also thinking getting away to a new environment with new people was good too. Some things have just changed here in Cinci. Nothing bad, just different.

I can't wait to go back to school!!

love.

2008-05-30T13:19:00.004-04:00

I leave for camp in less than 2 days. Black Mountain, North Carolina will be the place I call home for the next 9 weeks. Way out in the middle of nowhere, the closest city is Asheville. Mountains for miles. Since I have Cincinnati Bell, I probably won't get service on my cell phone. ...Actually, I kind of hope I don't get service. How freeing to not be able to be reached at any and each moment in time...not by people at least. The only one who will have access to me 24/7 will be God...

I'm unbelievably excited to go, but I'm also slightly nervous. I've never even been to a camp! I know this is what God wants me to do though. He will not give me anything I cannot handle. Isn't that beautiful? I always have the comfort that God will never give me anything that is too much. He will push my limits and try me, but never ever too much. I think that's why I don't get worked up over many things anymore. I feel safe, secure, and constantly protected by Him. I really have no idea what to expect at camp, but I'm so excited to be a part of a ministry like this.

I hope I am adequate enough for this job. I pray that God will use me in wonderful ways, and that He will give me wisdom. ...I'm so excited! :]

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am you God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

Comfort. Grace. Faith. Love.

2008-05-26T15:05:00.000-04:00

I love this picture. It makes me think of heaven...or at least what I picture heaven to be at this point in time. I took this picture a few weeks ago when I was taking some pictures of my brother up on a hill. Can you believe this sunset is in good ol' Cincinnati? It looks like a painting! I wanted to simply sit and admire this sunset. I wanted to block out everything else in the world and just watch the splendor and beauty...just be in nature ...of course I couldn't because my brother was with me, and we were up there to take pictures. It was good though. I love spending time with him.

I think it is important to take time to just sit and be with God. Just be. No need to be praying or thinking or reading anything. To take up time allowing myself to be in the presence of God is a beautiful thing. I love doing that actually. Funny thing is, I haven't done that since I've been home for the summer... except for last night. I took a short 15 minutes out of my life and surrendered it completely to Him. It was probably a humorous sight: I just sprawled out in the middle of my bedroom floor, amid the mess of clothes and books and such, and listened. Listened to whatever God had to tell me. Listened for any faint whisper in my ear or sudden revelation. Now I didn't actually hear anything except for the rustle of leaves in the trees outside my window, and I didn't have a revelation either. But that's not how God works. He doesn't give us revelations when we want them, but rather He is continually guiding us, forever and always. I think I'm just now fully grasping the idea that God is always whispering in my ear. Not just when I have "revelations" or what not, and not just when I'm listening. But always. Always and forever will He be speaking to me. How beautiful.

But anyway! Summer is finally here, and I've been able to go swimming twice already! I love being in the water. It's such a peaceful feeling. I like going under the water. Everything sounds so muffled and quiet. There's such a sharp contrast between the peaceful quiet in the water, and the harsh, loud noises above the surface.

...I wonder what heaven will sound like...